A classic illustration of the need for self-care is a flight attendants safety lecture. He or she informs you that in the event of loss of cabin pressure an oxygen mask will descend in front of you. You are told to put on your own mask before helping others with theirs. Why? The answer is simple: you can’t help anyone if you are not breathing. We can’t effectively care for others until we first care for ourselves. As women who care too much we focus our attention outside of ourselves. We usually come from addicted and/or dysfunctional family systems. Our self-esteem tends to be tied up in caring for others. We have a tremendous need to be needed.